How about a shot of honesty?

...

I started this blog, because I was so inspired by others. I admired their strength and perseverance. I wanted to be like them too.

I started the blog with high hopes. I was planning on posting every day, complete with my calorie counts, dance corrections, and random thoughts and goals in my life.

I wanted to be an inspiration.

Truthfully, a wet paper bag is more inspiring than I am.

In the beginning I was doing so well. I was really in control. I lost weight, felt great, and was ready to keep on going. What happened?

After Christmas everything all fell apart. I blew up (literally). Now here I am, back where I started. Gross.

I am more obsessed with food than ever before. I feel like an addict. Its strange, because I don't like it any more. Food grosses me out, yet It is all I think about. I always feel I have to eat. Even when I am sick to my stomach and so stuffed, I still cant stop eating. Its so out of control.

Maybe its because its mirroring my life. Everything is so hard. My hours got cut at work. I can hardly afford to live. I Skipped dance class today. Why? because I didn't have money for a bus ticket. I am going crazy.

I cant finish this post. I will continue later.